


I Just Want You To Be Happy

by MegaAna135



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Boys Kissing, F/M, First Kiss, Heartbreak, M/M, Pining Keith (Voltron), Sad Ending, Space Dad Shiro (Voltron), Swearing, Unrequited Love, klance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-23
Updated: 2017-01-24
Packaged: 2018-09-19 09:58:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,414
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9435017
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MegaAna135/pseuds/MegaAna135
Summary: It wasn't like Keith hadn't expected this to happen. It wasn't like his life wasn't a literal train wreck all hours of the day, so why would night be any different, right? All he'd wanted was a calm night in with his friends, listen to Hunk and Pidge argue over the schematics of a robot they were trying to build, maybe try to convince Shiro that of course mothman is real, look at the evidence Shiro! Later on him and Lance would get into some bullshit argument that would have nothing to do with what the actual conversation was about, and Keith would pine over how passionate Lance would get when he'd yell or how Keith could see the faded freckles across his cheek because the man had no concept of personal space when his "honor" was on the line.But that wasn't the point. No, the point was Keith was stuck with this dumb crush that was quickly spiraling out of control and it was all because of Lance. If the idiot had kept his mouth shut, Keith wouldn't be going over every interaction in his head a million times over and wishing he'd done something sooner.





	1. Please Have Mercy

**Author's Note:**

> Here have some heartbreak! This is actually based on my real life because its a mess and 90% of this really happened to me, except i didn't have the wonderful Voltron squad to cheer me up. I might write an alternate ending if you guys like this one enough, or if there's a mutual outrage at my horrible torture.
> 
> *edit: WOW SO MANY OF YOU READ THIS THANK YOU!! I will get to writing a happy ending ASAP because I too want these little nuggets together and for keith to be happy! *  
> *This little adventure is over and done, I'm so proud of it!!! I hope you all enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. Love you!*

It wasn't like Keith hadn't expected this to happen. It wasn't like his life wasn't a literal train wreck all hours of the day, so why would night be any different, right? All he'd wanted was a calm night in with his friends, listen to Hunk and Pidge argue over the schematics of a robot they were trying to build, maybe try to convince Shiro that of course mothman is real, look at the evidence Shiro! Later on him and Lance would get into some bullshit argument that would have nothing to do with what the actual conversation was about, and Keith would pine over how passionate Lance would get when he'd yell or how Keith could see the faded freckles across his cheek because the man had no concept of personal space when his "honor" was on the line.

But that wasn't the point. No, the point was Keith was stuck with this dumb crush that was quickly spiraling out of control and it was all because of Lance. If the idiot had kept his mouth shut, Keith wouldn't be going over every interaction in his head a million times over and wishing he'd done something sooner.

~ 4 Months Ago~  
"Can I tell you something?" The streetlights flashed overhead as Keith tried to concentrate on driving a slightly inebriated Lance safely to his house just across the highway from Lance's place. The air in the car got felt heavier for some reason, and Keith knew that Lance wasn't just talking out of his ass right now, he had something important to say.

"Yeah man, go for it." He could feel a pause from the other, so Keith tried to flash the other a small smile. Whatever Lance needed to say, he was nervous about it, which made Keith a little worried.

"I-" A pause. "I just wanted to say thanks, for being my friend. You know?" They'd pulled into Keith's driveway, and he shifted so that they were facing each other in their seats. Lance was hunched in on himself a bit, making his normally larger than life presence, small. His face was still staring out the front window, eyes trained on some faraway thought. "I know that sometimes I can be a bit much, and I always pick fights with you, but" He looked at Keith now, expression as if he was in pain, and Keith tried to soften his own to make the other feel more comfortable. "but you're always there when I need help, like some sort of friend ninja." Keith let out a huff of laughter and the corners of Lance's mouth twitched like he was fighting a smile. "This past year has been rough man. Like, there were times when I didn't know if I was gunna make it through. But you were always there just when I was ready to give up... so, thank you." 

It was weird, how little Keith actually knew about what Lance had been going through, and yet just by being there for him had made Lance hang on a little longer. The knowledge that Keith had been only a few minutes away from Lance going berserk sent his head spinning. What was he supposed to say to that? Sure he'd helped in a few of Lance's slumps, brought over some conspiracy movies and gone to Applebees for half apps at 11 just to get him out of the house, but had it really been much? There could've been more, Hunk or Pidge knew Lance better than he did for sure, but here he was, saying thank you to Keith of all people.

"No problem man. It's what friends do." Lance smiled and Keith was about to say something more, when suddenly Lance threw open the car door and vomited all over the driveway before passing out. So much for that bonding moment. Keith got Lance inside and tucked him into the makeshift bed of duvets, quilts and pillows before heading to bed. 

This is where it all began.

~2 Months Ago~

"C'mon! Keith we need to get these camouflage pans for when we go camping!" They were at Walmart shopping for a few last minute camping trip supplies (by last minute he meant, Lance wasn't prepared so they had to buy literally everything before they went camping in an hour with everyone and he'd decided to drag Keith with him). They'd bought an air mattress, cooler, grilled cheese supplies and almost everything Lance deemed absolutely necessary for their escapade.

"Well we do need a pan for the grilled cheese but wont the fire burn off the camo-"  
"We're getting it!" Lance cut him off by practically throwing the thing in the cart and almost smashing the bread in the process. Without waiting for a response, he grabbed the cart from his fingerless gloved hands and sped away, laughing so loud people were giving them dirty looks. The laughter was contagious and Keith had to stifle it as he gave the surrounding spectators apologetic looks.

"Is this what it'd be like if we got an apartment together?" Lance only laughed as he hauled everything to the self- checkout, a sigh escaped him as he checked the time. They had half an hour to get to the campsite and set up before everyone else got there, and it was a hour drive there.

"Dude this is gunna be what it's like when we're married." The sentence rang in Keith's ears as Lance kept ringing everything up. His face suddenly on fire and he hoped the other wouldn't notice his sudden tomato impression.

"We're getting married now?" A smirk tugged on his lips and tan hands fumbled with the carton of eggs, almost dropping them to the floor. 

"Y-yeah! Best married friends!" His voice broke a bit on the word "married," but other than that Lance's composure was once again his usual boisterous self. "Dude we should get like matching cactus tattoos."

Keith raised an eyebrow. "Cactus tattoos? Why should we get matching cactus tattoos?" He took the plastic bags from the cart as Lance pushed it with the rest of them.

"Because, Mullet," His tongue enunciating and drawing out each syllable, "a cactus is like a physical representation of our relationship." There was a pause and the Cuban looked at Keith expectantly but when he was met with blank confusion he sighed exasperatedly. "You know, a cactus is all spine-y and you shouldn't really mess with them, like people shouldn't mess with us 'cuz they'll get a pretty nasty surprise. But they've also got really pretty flowers sometimes and can withstand some tough shit." He smiled, proud of himself for the analogy as they loaded the bags in the trunk. Keith couldn't help but be a little impressed, it was kinda perfect for them. It was obvious Lance expected retaliation in some form, but was left open mouthed and blinking when all Keith said was, "Oh, okay. Sure sounds cool." He stayed outside for a solid thirty seconds as Keith got in the car, staring at the space where the other had been.

"You coming or am I going to have to tell the others I broke you?" The yell out the window snapped Lance back into action, all shouts of protest and goofy hand waving as he ran to the car door.  
Keith had never been more excited about a tattoo in his life.

~Two Weeks Ago~

"I used to have a giant crush on you."

The sentence was said so casually, like Lance was telling Keith about the weather and hadn't just caused the butterflies in his gut to get into a fist fight and almost go into cardiac arrest. But he had to keep his cool, any sign of shock would just cause a relentless slaughter of teasing that Keith honestly wanted to avoid. So he went with his go-to response to just about anything.

"Really?" They were currently sitting in the darkness of Lance's car listening to music and smoking a couple cigarellos. It was something they did every once in a while when the stress of life got just a little too heavy and they were sick of being home and too broke to do anything else.

"Yeah. I mean, i didn't really realize I was Bi until you came along to be honest. Like, I had a giant crush on Shiro but everyone has a crush on Shiro, even if you're the straightest dude in existence. He's just that hot." They both laughed as Keith ashed out his window and tried to avoid direct eye contact. Because, man, did he have it bad for the asshole sitting next to him. But Lance couldn't know that, they were best friends and anything else would ruin it. Plus, Lance used to have a crush on him, it didn't necessarily mean he still felt that way. 

"I'm not surprised, I am pretty hot." Keith laughed as the other choked and hacked on an inhale, sputtering his protests.  
"Yeah but you have a mullet. A Mullet, Keith! That's like, the literal worst hairstyle to ever be invented!" The nicotine made Keith relax into his seat as Lance went on and on about the worst fashion in the history of Earth, which led to a debate about the pros and cons of parachute pants, and soon the confession was long forgotten. Until Keith drove back to an empty apartment and was left with it echoing in his head for the next two weeks every night.

~Present Day~

That's why it was all Lance's fault. because ever since the weird "thank you," Lance had been giving weird hints and flirting and planting the idea into Keith's poor conspiracy theorist brain that they'd be it be a good idea, that they would be a good idea. The past few months had turned from rivalry to flirting matches and occasional hand holding in the car during smoke time and even in the dead of night when they'd crawl into Lance's obnoxiously tall oversized bed and cuddle. They'd never talk about it, but it lingered in the back of Keith's head every minute they weren't together. Even worse was what had happened just hours ago.

~~~  
They'd been laying in Lance's bed talking, poking fun at each other and laughing. Keith couldn't tell you what he'd said that'd made Lance to tell him to shut up, but he could give you a seven page essay on what happened next in detail and how it would fuck him up for the rest of eternity.

"Shut up!" a hand pushed against his shoulder in the dark, they were so close that Keith could map out the freckles on Lance's face and count his eyelashes individually. The words flew out of his mouth instinctually.

"Make me." It felt like they were in an airlock, the atmosphere changed drastically, charged with... something Keith couldn't name.

"Maybe I will." Lance's voice came out in a hushed whisper, making the room once filled with their giggles feel extremely quiet, a pin could drop and Keith wouldn't have heard it over the sound of his heart thudding against his ribcage.

Suddenly lips were on his, hands on either side of his face. It felt like Lance was rushing at him with everything he had, like he didn't have the time to relax and slow down. Before Keith could even register what happened and even try to reciprocate, it was over, leaving him star stuck and blinking rapidly. 

"Oh fuck what did I just do! Shit shit shit." Keith's eyes stared at Lance's back, and it was like his brain had been rebooted. Everything screaming at him to help Lance.

"Hey, it's okay dude. I, I didn't mind it." Lance whipped around, his eye frantically searching Keith's face before sitting up ramrod strait. Everything about this was wrong, this wasn't supposed to have happened, he was supposed to have kissed back, and they'd cuddle and coo and get together and hold hands and Keith could tell people Yes that handsome man is my husband, isn't he funny? Oh excuse me sir, that excited Cuban is my boyfriend please stop flirting with him. Lance shouldn't be panicking, shouldn't be on the verge of a nervous breakdown googling I kissed my best friend what do i do.

"No it's not okay, Keith! I just kissed you! What do we do?! Oh God I've ruined our friendship. What do we do now?!" His words were running together too fast and Keith barely understood what was rapidly flowing out of Lance's mouth in hysterics.

"Hey," The panicking continued as if Keith hadn't spoken. "LANCE!" His throat felt raw and he realized he's screamed, frightened blue ocean eyes were locked on him, attempting to calm is nerves he took a deep breath.  
"You didn't ruin our friendship." A swift glare cut out the noise of protest Lance opened his mouth to make, before continuing. "You didn't. Okay? Lets take it slow, figure out where we want to go with this. You probably don't feel like dating after that controlling jerk Sendak, so lets just go to bed and make a decision in the morning, okay? A soft nod was his only answer before Keith touched Lance's shoulder and nudged him back onto the bed. Their legs tangled together and Keith held Lance tight as the other trembled from the after shocks of his panic. Mumbled goodnight's bounced across the room and slowly sleep overtook Lance. But Keith was wired, listening to soft snores and thinking of tomorrow, what would Lance choose? Would he say the same thing as now? Did he regret it? What if he hated Keith in the morning? The thought made his stomach churn, he didn't fall asleep till four hours later when the sun was just beginning to turn the sky red and glow through the curtains. They'd talk about it when they woke up.

Except they didn't. When they woke up, Lance pretended nothing happened. Keith tried not to show his disappointment when his friend wouldn't look him in the eye, and he tried even harder not to be hurt when Lance flirted with the cute gas station clerk as they purchased some coffee.

~~~~  
Weeks passed. Weeks turned into a month and Keith was left in the wake of a Lance who either avoided him by dropping off the face of the earth or when he was around, flirted relentlessly with anyone they could find. Except Keith of course. And anytime they were alone he desperately looked for an out, without even trying to hide the fact he was avoiding Keith. He'd asked Shiro for advice, cried for hours while the man patiently rubbed his shoulder and handed him tissues.

"I just don't know what to do, Shiro!" He threw his hands in exasperation. "He disappears and then when he comes back its always with someone new to introduce to me. It's like he's trying to prove something. And everytime I try to talk about what happened, he clams up. His face gets all unreadable and he won't talk for hours, sometimes days on end." The older man sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose while Keith stared at his bedroom wall. He was so empty, he couldn't even cry anymore. "And I thought maybe he'd gotten over it a few weeks ago. He was normal again, flirting with me and I don't know, i thought maybe-" His throat hurt as his voice broke, leaving the cinderblock in his chest feeling heavier. "I don't know what I thought. Because last week he fucking goes and introduces me to Nyma. Who the hell is named Nyma anyway?" 

"I don't know what to say Keith, except give him time. He probably just needs to get it out of his system before talking about the two of you. Patience with him will be hard, but you gotta give him some time." Keith looked ready to say something but Shiro cut him off. "He's probably afraid of the change it might bring between you two." He was right, as always, but that didn't mean Keith was going to be happy about it.

He let out a long sigh before resting his head in his hands. "Okay Shiro. I'll, I'll give him time. I promise, whatever he needs, i'll give him."

With that, the subject was dropped and they went to get dinner.

He tried, he really did try to give Lance time, but it was so hard seeing them together. The Cuban was always inviting Keith along on their adventures, laughing full and loud like he used to do with only Keith. He even gave her that soft smile that Keith had to dig out after a few too many late night confessions. It was painful, seeing him give everything that used to be reserved for Keith alone to some stranger. Lance kept trying to set Keith up with Nyma's buddy Rolo, like he was trying to push Keith away, and as frustrating as it was he let him. He held Rolo's hand, kissed the man even though all he was thinking about was Lance doesn't have a lip ring, Lance didn't kiss me like that, Lance Lance Lance. 

"Keith," They were driving with no destination, like they used to before... The Incident.  
"Yeah?"  
"I think Im in love with Nyma."

It was like the world and dropped out from underneath him, he could feel his heart thudding in his chest. There were no tears though, but he knew they'd assault him later when he dropped Lance off. There was a moment when Keith considered yelling at him. When he wanted to kick and scream, pull the car over and punch in the face because, how could you love this girl you've known for months when I've known you for years?! How COULD YOU FUCKING DARE YOU SELFISH BASTARD.  
It was a moment before he realized Lance was looking at him expectant and almost hesitantly, as if waiting for an answer. He looked so hopeful, and waiting for... for Keith's approval. He was happy with her, and while that thought hurt like a thousand knives being shoved into his chest, Keith had promised Shiro, promised himself, that whatever Lance needed he'd give. And right now, Lance needed his approval of Nyma.

"That's really cool man. I'm happy for you." A blinding smile lit up the entire car and it made the butterflies flutter even harder that before. But Keith could also notice the sort of hollow disappointment that was in the shadows of Lance's eyes. It confused Keith, like Lance always seemed to do.

They drove in silence the rest of the way, and Keith would be lying if he said he hadn't needed to pull over on the side of the road because his vision was too blurry, and after two hours he gave up and called Hunk to come pick him up. Hunk wanted to go to Lance's house and smack the shit out of him but Keith held him back, telling him to leave it be. Because Lance was happy, and really, that's all Keith wanted for him. So Hunk stayed, and listened to Keith's broken sobs, made tea and invited Pidge over to watch Mothman documentaries. Shiro came by every other day to make sure Keith was okay, but never once did they tell Lance what was happening. Keith would never forgive himself if Lance broke up with Nyma because Keith was selfish.

And a year later, when Lance asked Keith's opinion on a ring for her, he told him it was beautiful.


	2. Take It Easy On My Heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance and Keith are idiots but thats okay because they're idiots together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for reading this terrible heart ache! 
> 
> The chapter titles are from Shaun Mendez's song Mercy.

On Monday night, all Keith could hear was Etta James crooning "I'd Rather Go Blind" in his ear, but since it was 2 AM and his phone was right next to his ear at a volume that should be illegal, it was more like shrill screaming blasting out his left eardrum. Groggily, Keith barely looked at his phone and hit the answer button, pressing the receiver to his good ear.

"Keith? Can... can you let me in?" Lance's voice was too soft over the distorted speaker, causing any drowsiness Keith had felt to be slapped out of him.

"Yeah, sure hold on." His throat was raw from neglect and sleep. Stumbling, Keith walked to the front door, not even bothering with pants because, hello this was Lance the same guy who ran around campus butt naked with Keith because of a stupid dare from Pidge over who could get back the fastest. He'd seen more than just Keith in his underwear in the ten years they'd known each other.

The sight that greeted him was not one he was used to, if he was honest. A sopping Lance shivering from head to toe due to the rain outside and red rimmed eyes, it made something in Keith's chest twist painfully like the day Lance took him ring shopping for Nyma.

"Lance! Oh my god, get in here you fucking lunatic." quickly ushering him inside, and grabbing him a towel, they sat on either side of the couch staring at each other for a good hour. Like clockwork, they both opened their mouths and talked over the other.

"Sorry, I know it's late and-"  
"Are you going to tell me what happened or do I have to guess?" More staring, before Lance cracked a smile and Keith chuckled, both looking away. A tan foot nudged his own, drawing their attention to the other once more. It was a comfortable silence between the two, like many they'd shared in their cars or just making dinner for everyone.

"Lance?" Grey eyes looked at blue ones, his brow furrowed a bit like it always did when he was worried and he could hear Lance's voice in the back of his mind shrieking about wrinkles.

"Nyma said no."

A strange sense of joy swept Keith away from himself, before the immediate thousand pound weight of guilt landed onto his shoulders. Sure, Keith was happy that Lance and Nyma weren't getting married. He was elated he wouldn't have to see them making googley eyes at each other and have to stand at the Cuban's side when that gorgeous girl walked down the aisle. He was jumping for fucking joy that he wouldn't have to spend the rest of his life listening to Nyma this and Nyma that. But Lance was distraught, and if that didn't make Keith feel like the worst human being on the planet, then he didn't know what could.

"Oh. I... Im so sorry, Lance." The other let out a hollow laugh that made the hair on Keith's neck raise.   
"It's whatever. She said it wasn't my fault, that she shouldn't have 'let this go on for so long.'" Another strangled laugh, it made Lance sound like he was drowning... and maybe to Keith, he was. "I just don't get it! I... I love her, or at least i thought I did but she said-" He cut himself off quickly, looking anywhere but Keith. You know that feeling you get when someone ignores you for months on end, and you tell yourself that you're angry with them but as soon as you see them you melt into a puddle? That was Keith right now, and he'd be damned if he let some chick fuck around with Lance like this.

"What did she say?" He was going to put his hand on the other's knee, but even a foot away Lance flinched at the gesture. Something cold settled in his gut it made him want to shout at the other. "Lance, for fuck sakes look at me!" Lance's head whipped around as if he'd been slapped. It was a tense second before Keith realized he'd screamed that out loud. "S-sorry. I shouldn't have, yeah." Lance brought a hand to his neck nervously, a habit Keith recognized from all the times Lance had tried to avoid a certain topic.

"Naw, it's fine. You have a right to be angry. I mean what kind of friend am I right?" Tan arms waved through the air before dropping into his lap with a thud. "I ditch you for some girl, no texts no calls, barely talk to Hunk even. And then out of the blue I show up at some unholy hour." Lance sighed, dropping his head into his hands. "Maybe I should go, Im sorry I bothered you-" He made an attempt to move from the couch but Keith grabbed his arm, he swore he pulled so hard it was a surprise Lance's arm didn't pop out of it's socket.

"No, Lance no Im sorry I shouldn't have snapped like that." They stared at each other for again. Why did they always stare at each other? Was it always like this and Keith never noticed? "What did she say?" Lance's face turned a lovely shade of crimson that Keith had only seen on a few occasions.

"I-it's nothing. Not important, what's impotant is that we need to have some team bonding time, am I right?" Stuttered avoidances were all Keith could hear, Lance was always changing the subject if he was uncomfortable, usually Keith readily accepted it and went along with whatever Lance wanted to talk about. But not seeing your best friend, and also massive crush, for three months can take a toll on your ability to let things go so fast.

Keith tried to emulate Shiro's 'Dad Look' as he leveled Lance with his fiercest glare. Lance looked away again and sighed in defeat.

"She said... she said that she didn't want to marry someone who was in love with someone else." And finally, finally Lance looked Keith in the eye, as if daring him to say anything. He continued: "She told me that if she was going to have to compete to get my attention she didn't want it anyways, and then proceeded to tell me that it wasn't my fault I was an oblivious idiot." His head thunked onto the back of the couch, voice tired and letting out a humorless laugh.

"What the hell does that mean?" Keith stood suddenly, the other looked at him from the corner of his eye. "How could she say that?! She's all you ever talked about! You followed her like a lovesick puppy, always doing what she wanted!" His voice started to raise as his frustration grew. "Did she not even see how you looked at her all the time?! How dare she say that, Lance! Im going to fucking WWE her ass right now, so help me." His pacing legs took him swiftly to the door without even realizing it, and he already had his jacket on before Lance's voice broke through the red haze.

"She said I was in love with you." That stopped him in his tracks. Slowly, Keith turned around to a blushing and tired Lance. 

"What, what are you talking-" Lance cut him off, standing slowly.  
"I thought about it, I really did. At first I laughed, because hello? You're my best friend, of course I love you." Keith's hands were shaking, with what he couldn't tell you. "And she said, 'no you idiot, you know what I mean.' Which was crazy, I loved Nyma." Lance was getting closer and Keith's heart was beating faster than should be humanely possible. "But the more I thought about it, the more i realized," They were so close the warmth of each other's breathed fanned across their faces. "That she was right." And Lance leaned in, and Keith's entire world stopped, because HOLY FUCKING SHIT LANCE MCCLAIN WAS GOING TO FUCKING KISS HIM.

Except, they were so close so achingly close and Lance's eyes were sliding shut, Keith had to fight not to let his do the same because-

Because they were so close that Keith could smell the whiskey thick on Lance's breath.

And this wasn't how Keith wanted this to go at all. They'd kiss and fall into bed and in the morning Lance would pretend it never happened, like before.

"Lance, stop." It took everything in Keith's body not to let his hands shake as he pressed them against Lance's chest and away from his own. The look he got almost made him regret keeping the man in front of him at arms length, but it was for the best. It was, right?

"Lance, you're drunk." A confused face morphed into one of indignation and offense, but Keith held his ground before the other could protest. "I can't do this again Lance. I can't have you fucking waltz into my life and make me think you're going to be there in the morning to wake up to an empty bed, I just can't." His shoulders slumped and Lance's face turned to one of hazy understanding.  
"Keith I get it but-"  
"No. Lance, you don't. You don't get it because you didn't bother to pay attention to the two years I fucking loved you till it made me want to die." His words were coming out fast now, and there was no stopping them. He'd held it all in for so long, it was a fucking waterfall. "You didn't have to take care of me for weeks when you got Nyma's ring, Hunk did. You didn't have to listen to me go on and on about how much I just wanted you to be happy even if it meant watching you marry Nyma, Pidge did. Lance McClain, you are the most beautiful human being on this planet. You're eyes make my fucking chest cave in and your laugh is like shitty pop songs from the 90's, and every time we have a sleep over I get a glimpse of what it'd be like to wake up next to you every morning for the rest of my life. Lance, you don't get it. I can't kiss you now and in the morning have you not remember how it felt for me to love you with everything I've got because it's all I know how to do. I Can't Lance." The speech came trailed of with a sob, he didn't even remember when he'd started crying but now he was full on bawling in front of Lance.

"I can't do it, because it would fucking ruin me." Lance's face was still shocked, like he couldn't fully process what had just come out of Keith's mouth. And Keith guessed he couldn't because of how buzzed he was. Composing himself, he squared is shoulders and looked dead set into ocean blue eyes. "Goodbye Lance." With that he walked to his room and shut the door. It was a solid hour before he heard the front door open and close again. An hour more of Keith staring blankly at the ceiling, and then half an hour of Keith losing his shit all over again. There was no telling when Keith fell asleep, but all he dreamed of was whiskey and blue eyes.

~~~~~

The next couple of weeks drifted by like nothing had ever happened. He tried not to let it get to him, but it still hurt that Lance hadn't even tried to call him and apologize even. Hunk and Pidge told Keith that Lance hadn't come out of his room except to get food, and even then he didn't talk to anyone. When Keith gave them a brief rundown of what had happened that night, Pidge just sighed. 

"That explains the lost look he's got." Keith furrowed his brows in question at Pidge, and Hunk chuckled. "Lance, when he can remember pieces of a drunken escapade, he gets this look when he tries to figure out the rest." Keith nodded and the other added: "Which he only does if he thinks it's really important."

"So he can remember some of it, but he's going to ignore everyone until he remembers all of it? Why doesn't he just ask what happened?" Hunk laughed.

"He's pretty stubborn. Plus, he might only remember you saying no." When all Hunk got was a raised eyebrow, the shorter added: "He might only remember you saying no and thinks you rejected him." Keith's mouth formed a small 'O' and Hunk just laughed again, Pidge shaking their head while muttering "Morons."

"Should I go explain or-" Hunk shook his head quickly. "No, no,no. Dude, you gotta let him figure it out." Pidge nodded as they tinkered with something across the room.  
"Yeah, Keith. If you go in all gung-ho he wont fully believe you. He'll way he does-" "Yeah he'll say he does but until he remembers it all he'll just be second guessing himself the entire time."

The evening went on after that, with the two giving Keith some Lance advice and even some pasta advice because Hunk was the best cook on this side of the universe. With a quick thanks, Keith headed home.

~~~  
It was a solid month before Lance showed up in Keith's apartment without so much as a hello or a knock.

"Who the FUCK- oh, hey.... Lance." The Cuban smiled sheepishly and Keith went back to making dinner. "Keith, I'm sorry." He stayed by the kitchen, but wiped his hands and face Lance.

"For what? Bursting into my apartment or trying to kiss me after your girlfriend broke up with you." At that Lance winced and Keith almost felt bad.

Almost.

"Both?" He ran his hands through his hair still looking at Keith. "Im sorry i came here drunk and sad and made you deal with my bullshit problems, really man. I shouldn't have done that." He stopped looking at Keith for approval, who nodded in a silent grant of permission to continue. "I, I like you a lot, Keith" He froze, but schooled his features blank before walking towards Lance and sniffing him. It got him a few weird looks but he didn't care, drunkenly fool Keith once shame on him, but he was not taking a second chance.

"Oh really? You sure you're not drunk again?" Keith knew the other wasn't but he kinda wanted Lance to feel bad. As horrible as it sounds, he was done being the damsel in distress crying over a boy who didn't like him. Dammit, he was going to be a strong, independent human being again like before this whole mess started. Lance had the decency to look ashamed before he looked at Keith with a fire in his eye that had been missing for so long, Keith forgot it used to be there.

"Keith, Mother fucking Kogane." Lance's voice had taken on a rough quality like it had when they'd smoke just a little too much and wrecked their throats, but Keith could hear the raw determination in it. "I've loved you since the night I kissed you but was too chicken shit to do anything about it." Keith's jaw dropped and Lance chuckled a bit before walking towards him and continuing. "You are the best friend I could ever have hoped to have and I honestly don't understand how you've put up with my bullshit for this long. But Keith, every time I see you my heart feels like it's doing a samba. Your smiled make the butterflies in my chest play my ribcage like a xylophone. I know you aren't good with words but you throw your heart into every action, and i know parties make you nervous yet you still say yes every time I ask you to come to one and I love that about you. I love that when you get angry your eyes turn the color of flint, and you bite your nails when your'e nervous. I even love your stupid mullet, which should be illegal, by the way." That earned a watery chuckle fro Keith. Now they were close, mirroring those many weeks ago except there was no hint of whiskey, and Keith wasn't allowing himself to cry, not this time bitch.

"Keith, mother fucking Kogane," His voice almost a sigh now as he searched Keith's eyes. "I don't deserve you at all, but" A warm hand pushed some hair behind Keith's ear, "If you'll have me, I'd love to be able to love you every day. Im sorry it took me this long to realize it. But I hope, that maybe you'll let me kiss you this time." That was all Keith needed to hear before their lips collided. It was hot and messy, Lance used too much tongue and Keith maybe used too much saliva, but he wouldn't have had it any other way. Hungry and clinging to each other for dear life, they stumbled to Keith's couch. They parted and one long kiss turned into multiple presses of lips, each muttering "I love You's" between every one. At one point they stopped kissing because Keith was smiling too hard so they laid tangled on the couch together. "Ive wanted to do that since the first time." Lance sighed against Keith's shoulder. It made something weigh against the back of Keith's mind.

"Then why did you avoid me? Why not just tell me outright instead of all the one night stands and then Nyma?" He looked at Lance, leaning into the touch of hands playing with his hair.

"I was scared." Keith laid back down, knowing Lance needed this time without eyes on him. "I was afraid of ruining us. you know? I thought you deserved better so i kept trying to find something else to make it hurt a little less. I just wanted you to be happy." Keith snorted at the dramatics and also at how those thoughts were almost exact copies of how he'd been thinking about Lance the past year. "I know, I know, it was stupid." Lance laughed.

"Damn right, dip-shit. we could've been this way a year ago." He felt Lance tense under him and looked up, to see the other avoiding his gaze. "I know, Im sorry." It made Keith's throat close up, how softly he said it. Maybe it was the way he looked at Keith when he said 'Sorry,' like Keith was the entire universe and Lance was just a black hole that kept sucking out all the stars.

"It's okay, just don't fucking do it again." That made the body beneath his relax and chuckle again.

They were going to be okay. And maybe, just maybe, they'd realize they make each other happy.

They were going to be okay.

**Author's Note:**

> Give it a Kudos and comment if you want a happy mushy alternate ending! 
> 
> I do not own Voltron Legendary Defenders or any of its characters, this is just me venting and using them as my poor punching bags.
> 
> *EDIT: It's finally done! I hope you all enjoyed reading this as much as i did writing it! Xoxoxox*


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